The story behind the story #8 – Illicit relationships, the discomfort of socialising and university outcasts

The story behind the story #8 – Bad Boys go to Heaven

Continuing with the series which shares how my own real-life experiences have influenced my naughty books, I bring you ‘Bad Boys go to Heaven’.

This story tells of a mature student, Annabel, who fancies her lecturer BIG TIME. To her surprise, towards the end of the academic year, Luke admits he feels the same way. Unfortunately, for reasons of Annabel’s degree and Luke’s job, they are forced to keep their hands to themselves. With so much white hot attraction involved, as you can imagine, this proves difficult for them…verging on impossible!

I’ve actually just read a really kind review of the audiobook version of this story, which has been submitted by the wonderful Mr Gould:

So, which parts of this story are personal to my life experiences?

  1. University Outcasts
    Annabel is a mature student and feels somewhat separate from most of her classmates who have taken the more traditional route of studying straight after leaving school (A-levels, in UK speak!). For that reason, as well as the significant difference in her maturity compared with some of the more childish class members, she never quite feels like she fits in.

    Unfortunately, I know all about not fitting in at uni from my own personal experience – I just suffered a more extreme version of it. I went to University at 18. The institution was situation about 60 miles from home which meant I obviously needed to live there full time (at least during the week). This caused me a fairly major problem because I was completely (and I mean completely) loved-up with my first boyfriend at the time, who remained living at home. We’d been going out for about a year and I honestly couldn’t imagine my life without him. Needless to say, the heartache it caused me in being separated was very painful and upsetting.

    For that reason, I didn’t enjoy university. In fact, coming from a school where I was popular, surrounded by my friends and had a visible and important role within the school community, moving to university was the most isolating and hideous experience of my life. There were a lot of tears, which is unlike me. I overcame the situation I found myself in by not going out and instead working hard during the week. This meant I was free on a Friday afternoon to whizz back home to see my family and friends, but most importantly my boyfriend. This continued throughout the whole three years of my university tenure. As a result, I didn’t make any friends there and hated every single minute.

    Unfortunately, I backed the wrong horse. It turned out that my boyfriend didn’t love me like I thought. On the night of my 21st birthday, just weeks before I took my final exams, I walked in on him with another woman. What a complete arse….

  2. Illicit Relationships
    Annabel and Luke are not allowed to date. Although they are of a similar age, Luke is her lecturer and dating students is not permitted. Not only could he lose his job, but Annabel could fail to be awarded the degree she’s worked so hard for. It is therefore essential to keep their feelings on the down-low.

    This is certainly another situation I’ve experienced. Years ago, I started flirting with this guy at work which, for one reason or another, we decided to keep under the radar. It started with a LOT of messaging and emails. We would ‘accidentally on purpose’ run into each other in the canteen. That developed into sneaking out for lunch together in his sporty little car. After work, we would drive to a car park about a mile away in order to maximise the end of the day too. We thought we were being incredibly subtle but, in retrospect, I have no doubt it was completely obvious to all of our work colleagues. Like embarrassingly so….

    We ended up living together for five years although, looking back, I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking by staying with him for that long. I think the problem with an illicit relationship is that the sneaking around makes it feel a whole lot more exciting than it actually is. Not for Annabel and Luke though – they have a lot more passion than my ex and I ever had!

  3. The discomfort of socialising
    Annabel is not a natural socialiser and neither am I! I find it painful in the extreme, to stand around in a room and attempt to make conversation with a group of people I don’t really know very well. I’m great with family and close friends – indeed, you can barely shut me up – but when it comes to passing acquaintances or strangers, it just feels so incredibly false. And feeling as though I’m being false or pretending is something I can’t bear.

    Some people are great at socialising though, and I am very jealous of their skills! They can remember people’s names when I’ve forgotten everyone’s name within two seconds of being told it. They can apparently hear what people are saying over the loud beat of background music, without having to permanently ask people to repeat themselves, or make random hand gestures while mouthing “I can’t really hear you!” Covid is obviously horrible and we all hate what it has done to our lives, but there was one small ray of sunshine for me during lockdown. I was forced to maintain a distance from people and didn’t have to think up a good reason to turn down social engagements 🙂


‘Bad Boys go to Heaven’ is available from Amazon at these links:  and It can either be purchased, or read via a Kindle Unlimited subscription. Here are the links to sign up to a free 30-day Kindle Unlimited trial on  or

It is also available as an Audiobook from Audible at : and


The latest news from Fenella Ashworth can be found at
Fenella is a British author of contemporary erotic romance for 18+. All of her stories are available from Amazon and Kindle Unlimited. Her most popular books are ‘One Hot Wynter’s Night’, ‘To Love, Honour and…Oh Pay’ and the Daniel Lawson Series.

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