Sex, violence and my responsibility

I’d written for years before I started to gain the confidence to share my erotic romance stories, but when I did start to publish them, I knew one thing; I didn’t want to create any sex scenes where there was intense fear or violence involved.  This was probably largely due to what I personally find sensual or erotic.  Now, I’m well aware that extreme pain, degrading situations, forced sex and all other manner of activities do it for some people, but I’m not one of them.  And at the end of the day, I’m never going to enjoy writing a scene which I don’t personally find a turn on.  For me, I need the sex I’m writing about to be consensual, enjoyable and for neither party to end up being degraded or physically/mentally injured in any way.

Copy of Untitled Design-2

But slightly broader than that, I have also never purposefully written about violence within a sex scene, because I don’t want to put stories out there, which in any way normalise that kind of behaviour.  It probably makes me sound every one of my forty-four years of age, but I do worry about the younger generation growing up, believing that the sex you might view on porn channels is what’s expected of them.  That a healthy, loving relationship automatically equates to slapping, choking, being forced against your will or worse.  Like I said, I appreciate this might take place in relationships consensually, but that’s the keyword for me – consent.

Furthermore, I’m also aware that despite 18+ advisory statements being applied when I publish chapters to free sites, my stories are inevitably viewed by under 18’s (a quarter of views of one of my stories on BooksieSilk are by the 13-18 year old bracket).  This is obviously far from ideal, but outside of my control.  As a mother myself, I guess I’d much rather provide an example of what loving sex and relationships have the capability of looking like, for their benefit, as well as their future partner’s…

I received an email from one of my readers on Literotica this week, in relation to my short story The Art of Anonymity, which sums up what I’m trying to say, far better than I can:

“Amazing.  This was so beautifully done. I’ve not yet experienced joint pleasure giving and taking in this way with anyone but it’s a wonderful vision of what might be. Thank you for creating an example of what that could look like where there’s respect and delight in discovery without dominance or violence being a part of it. Your writing is what I hope my reality becomes someday. Thank you for sharing this creation.”

As a writer of erotic romance, I’m not sure I could ask for higher praise than that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fenella Ashworth

Fenella Ashworth is a British author of contemporary erotic fiction.  All of her stories are available from Amazon and free for those with Kindle Unlimited access.  Her bestselling novels are ‘To Love, Honour and Oh Pay’, ‘One Hot Wynter’s Night’, ‘Three Times Moor Pleasure’ and the Daniel Lawson series.
Fenella also releases stories on BooksieSilk, Booksie, Lush Stories and Literotica, and is often visible in the Literotica ‘Erotic Couplings’ Hall of Fame (Top Rated).
Please sign up to her newsletter for the latest news, and access to freebies, including a copy of the recently published ‘Bad girls go to Heaven’.

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