Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

The pick up line… A risky strategy for many, relying on you having a great line, a shared sense of humour and a good dollop of self-confidence.

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Perfect Stranger Perfect Stranger Perfect Stranger Perfect Stranger

In my book ‘Perfect Stranger, Strangely Perfect‘, the male lead, Eddie, jokes that he’s planning on self-publishing a collection of the worst examples he’s heard, one of which is the title of this blog.  I think at least some of the following would also have to be in there:


The groan-worthy old classics:

“Hi I’m Mr Right, somebody said you were looking for me?”

“Do I know you? Cause you look exactly like my next girlfriend.”

“Here’s 10p ring home and tell your mum that you won’t be coming home tonight!”


Updated for the twenty-first century:

“Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because we have a connection.”

“You are so hot, it’s girls like you that are the real reason for global warming.”

“You turn my software into hardware”


Humour might work?

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice tits”

“Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?”

“I have a rare tropical disease which will kill me unless I have sex within the next half hour.”

“What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.”

“Just say yes now, and I won’t have to spike your drink.”


The risque approach:

“Nice legs, what time do they open?”

“Do you work at Subway? ‘Cause you just gave me a foot-long.”

“You remind me of my pinky toe; you’re small, cute and I’m probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight.”

“My name is ______. Remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.”

“Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.”


Or just plain creepy:

“Were you arrested earlier? It must be illegal to look that good.”

“Do these feel real to you?”

“Can I read your t-shirt in braille?”

“Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.”


Got any to add to the list?



Fenella Ashworth

Fenella Ashworth is a British author of contemporary erotic fiction.  All of her stories are available from Amazon and free for those with Kindle Unlimited access.  Her best known novels are ‘To Love, Honour and Oh Pay’ and the Daniel Lawson series.
Fenella also releases stories on BooksieSilk, Booksie, Lush Stories and Literotica, and is often visible in the Literotica ‘Erotic Couplings’ Hall of Fame (Top Rated).
Please sign up to her newsletter for the latest news, and access to freebies, including a copy of the recently published ‘Bad girls go to Heaven’.

One thought on “Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

  1. The blatant: “Nice shoes… lets fuck” (which should translate to ‘shag’ equally well)

    Once said in my presence: “Are you a Dermatologist? I have this itch…”

    Liked by 1 person

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